Do you think it’s easy to be a bisexual in the world of online dating? After facing misunderstandings, awkward pick-up lines, threesome offers, and scepticism towards sexual orientation – even on the most popular gay dating sites – one should really have a gut to say he or she is bisexual. Check out the following questions that you might have already asked once, and see why it’s better not to do it anymore.
“So, are you really bisexual?”
Just believe on their bare word. Anyway, a lot of straight people pretend they are bisexual to attract the opposite sex. Truly bisexual individuals usually have a hard time dealing with endless doubts of others about their orientation.
“Maybe you’re just greedy?”
Let’s clear things up: there are over 7 billion people worldwide, so bisexuals are unlikely to be greedy. Besides, being bisexual doesn’t mean the person has jumped into multiple relationships before or makes love more often than others. Bisexuality doesn’t mean willingness to fall in love with every person, but with a right person.
“Do you want to join us for a threesome?”
If the person is bisexual, it doesn’t mean that he or she is extremely keen on the physical side of relations and looks for sexual experience rather than loving reliable relationship. Sadly, there are a lot of men who desperately try to find bisexual women through online dating sites, hoping to live out their threesome dreams.
“Are you experimenting?”
Most of the people don’t understand that bisexuality is a sexual orientation, just like being straight or gay, and it’s not just a temporary choice to make one’s life more diverse. So, read carefully the profiles you choose, and if it’s not mentioned that the person is looking for experiments, don’t let him or her feel offended with this stereotype.
“Who do you like more, men or women?”
The sexual orientation of every person can differ: some bisexuals are attracted to the opposite sex more, some of them look for bisexuals to have a relationship, or feel equal attraction to both genders. What is true is that you’d better not start a conversation asking what gender the person prefers because it can be really obtrusive. Don’t you think that getting to know their personality first is much better?
“Who was your last date, a man or a woman?”
Isn’t it completely inappropriate to discuss exes with someone special you’ve just met? It’s fine when you know each other well enough to talk about previous relationships, but it’s definitely not a subject to discuss at the beginning of your new relationship.
“Does your orientation make you feel confused?”
A lot of bisexual people have gone through self-searching before they finally accepted their true sexual orientation, which means they are so much far away from being confused. What we advise is to stop making your own theories on bisexual people psychology and leave it to those who are doing their PhD on sexuality. Otherwise, bisexual people will either ignore your attempts to know their feelings or will become too defensive.
“You often have sex, don’t you?”
Whoa! Slow down a little. Never start a conversation asking about the person’s private life. Just because they prefer both genders doesn’t mean they are all about loads of the physical side of love. It’s something very personal which doesn’t depend on sexual orientation.
“So you’re not a true gay, then?”
It’s maybe the most hurtful attitude gay people can have towards bisexual ones. It’s a common situation when such words make bi people feel like they fit in with neither gay nor straight community. Don’t you think that it’s much better to treat bi people like human beings attracted to both genders instead of categorising them as one group or another?
Make Bisexual Dating Work
Fortunately, openness to bisexuality keeps rising, so today it’s no longer a problem for bi people to find a match: all they have to do is to use the right dating site. If you want to date someone who is bisexual, check bisexual-friendly dating sites. You will be pleasantly surprised to see there are plenty of people who are looking for someone to start a love relationship, rather than to have a threesome.
Do you have any questions to ask? Take a look at our “great advice” for single bisexuals and lesbians who are looking for love.